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Is It Really a Secret?

by Moon Racer

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  • Streaming + Download

    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
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  • Cassette + Digital Album

    100 professionally dubbed & imprinted Chrome Plus magenta cassette tapes in clear Norelco shells. Package includes a 4-panel, 2-color, 2-sided Risograph-printed j-card with lyrics. Risograph printing by Issue Press of Grand Rapids, MI.

    Includes unlimited streaming of Is It Really a Secret? via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
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    Purchasable with gift card

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  • Magenta Tape
    Cassette + Digital Album

    First edition:
    100 professionally dubbed & imprinted Chrome Plus magenta cassette tapes in clear Norelco shells. Package includes a 4-panel, 3-color, 2-sided Risograph-printed j-card with lyrics. Risograph printing by Issue Press of Grand Rapids, MI. (OUT OF PRINT)

    Second edition:
    100 more professionally dubbed & imprinted Chrome Plus magenta cassette tapes in clear Norelco shells. Package includes a 4-panel, 3-color, 2-sided Risograph-printed j-card with lyrics. Risograph printing by Issue Press of Grand Rapids, MI.

    Includes unlimited streaming of Is It Really a Secret? via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.

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1.
Starry Up 02:48
I don’t care where you are, where you go, I’m so in love! If you want it, try again, you can have it now! Come here, lie down! Burning time before leaving town! Why rush? I’ll make you blush! What I want, now you know it all! Oh, I was waiting for you to come back saying you want me...but you’re just playing, you’ve come to run, that’s it, you go! What’s ahead? Not again, you’re not! Always wrong, I’m always watching you go!
2.
When you go, it’s just like you said so. When you leave, it’s just how you said it be, so I’ve no surprise. When you go, it’s just like you said, and you leave like you tried to warn me, so I’ve no surprise. There’s no big surprise. I feel fine. Why wouldn’t I?
3.
Won’t try to tell you why. <<Pull the string, I come untied.>> We’re almost there. You can’t stay anywhere. Don’t drive with closed eyes – can’t I just try? It’s almost light, it’s almost warm outside again. It’s been a long time. I didn’t forget a thing! I realize as time went by, I only remembered it more. So I want now what I never tried. I wanted it too, before, but was gun shy. Days don’t change; it’s been the same way since I first saw you. Days won’t change; I feel the same as always. That’s all.
4.
You want me, carefully – not too much, just enough. You call me, away and lonely – then, when you’re home, you’d rather be alone. You miss me deliberately to make me daydream, and ask me what I think – should you stay? Well, it doesn’t matter, I can tell.
5.
Oh, I know I won’t hear from you again! How dumb was I, thinking we were friends! You moved back here – it’s been two weeks, and, since then, nothing! I hear you’re out getting wrecked in Raleigh. Don’t you feel dumb, don’t you feel sorry for always calling just to hear me tell you not to worry, and then – nothing? I know I don’t hear from you no more. It’s no big deal; it’s happened before. You’ve been back now for several weeks more. Since then – nothing.
6.
Meaningless? You mean it's all been meaningless? Every whisper and caress? Yes, yes, yes, it was totally meaningless. Meaningless, like when two fireflies fluoresce, just like everything I guess. Less, less, yes, it was thoroughly meaningless. Even less—a little glimpse of nothingness, sucking meaning from the rest of this mess, yes, yes, yes, it was totally meaningless. And if some dim bulb should say we were in love in some way, kick all his teeth in for me, and if you feel like keeping on kicking, feel free. Meaningless -- who dare say it wasn't meaningless? Shout from the rooftops and address the press -- ha ha ha, it was totally meaningless! Meaningless, meaning less than a game of chess, just like your mother said and mother knows best. I knew it all the time but now I confess, yes yes yes, it was totally--
7.
Last Kiss 01:27
Our last kiss – I don’t remember it. I guess I miss – nothing, now that I think about it.
8.
New Crush 02:59
No one before even matters now. Heard where you were, wrote the address down, dragged my friends with me across downtown, waited outside ‘til we got freaked out. Inside, you were dancing. I know where you work (it’s so close to me). Read about you in an old Indy. When we’re out I am secretly pretending I don’t see you see me, but inside...Inside, where they’re swaying, sigh, waiting. Come on! Won’t you say it? What’s wrong if I’m staying where you are?

credits

released April 20, 2018

All songs by Moon Racer, except “Meaningless,” by Stephin Merritt.
“Pull the string, I come untied” is lovingly recited from Superchunk’s “Untied.”
Recorded mostly to four-track by Autumn E.
Mastered by Nicholas T. Petersen at Track and Field Recording.

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Moon Racer Durham, North Carolina

from my bedroom to yours

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